My Angel
by skanktillyadrop
Summary: Simon was in love. What happens when that love is taken from him in the worst way? It runs through his memories and thoughts of her, and the memories they shared, and how he struggles to make it through each passing day.Oneshot. Maybe more later or sequel


A/N: This story takes place 4 years into the future. It starts where the normal story would end, and goes back in memories, thoughts, and prayers letting you know what happened. It might end up going back into the present, or like in a few years, how Simon deals with Aaron looking more and more like his mom, and asking questions about her. Martin will probably never be around…maybe he will…who knows. But that is IF I go on…I want to, but why if no one will read? So read and review if you want to see more… Tell me what you think, whether its good or bad thoughts. Just give me feedback! You can give me ideas in your comments, maybe I'll use 'em. TTYL AND ENJOY!

"Sandy was a truly amazing person. She was a mother, a wife, and friend. We all loved her and hate to see her life ended in such a tragic and bitter way. Sandy taught me so much since I met her. She taught me how to be strong. I never met a person as strong and brave as her." Simon said, getting more teary eyed than before. He felt a tear run down his cheek. He wiped his eyes and decided to finish his speech. He had to be strong. For Sandy. She deserved it. "She raised a baby, almost all on her own. She was brave enough to tell me her feelings about me, more than once. She started her life over. She had a rough ride, but she loved every second. She was so happy and optimistic, almost all the time. She was taken from me and her son, Aaron, by a horrible illness. A brain tumor. Even with all the pain, and surgeries, and knowing she wouldn't make it, she was still so strong." Simon said, and he found himself tearing up again, thinking of all the memories he shared with her. "You know, she didn't even cry when they told her she only had a few days left. She said 'Oh well. I guess it's just my time.' That's it. I cried and hugged her and couldn't stop, but she just told me everything would be okay. She was so wise at only 25 years old. She will always remain in our thoughts, our prayers, and our hearts. I loved her more than anything, and I know she knows that. She's in a better place now. Let us have a silent prayer before saying our last words to her." Simon bowed his head and prayed to his wife...his late wife. "Sandy, baby. I love you. I know you know it, but I can't say it enough. I love you. I miss you, baby. I miss you." He cried. He stepped down from the podium and re-joined his family in the first row of the pews. Everyone was crying. Simon sat next to his mother, and she put her arm around him and pat him on the back. "Good job, Simon." She replied. "It'll be okay, don't worry." She told him, but he just cried. "I know, sweetie. It isn't fair, but think about it. Now she isn't in pain anymore." Annie said trying to comfort her son. Lucy was crying pretty hard. She was good friends with Sandy. Eric pat Simon on the shoulder. "That was a great speech. Sandy would've really loved it. She deserved it." Everyone, starting from the back of the church, made their way up to the casket and said their last words before leaving the church.

Simon got home that night after the funeral and sank into his bed. The bed he once shared with Sandy. Aaron was in his bedroom sleeping in his bed. _Why her? Out of all the people in the world, why did my Sandy have to leave? Why did she have to go? She was so young. Too young. There are so many horrible people out there, and the sweetest one I ever met gets taken from me. It's not fair. Not to me, not to Aaron, not to her. She deserved to live. We were supposed to grow old together. It wasn't supposed to end like this… I should have been the one to go first, not her. Not my baby._ Simon thought as he held Sandy's pillow close and cried. He wanted more than anything to hold her in his arms. Just one last time. If he could only re-live that moment. He had gotten so scared and nervous, knowing what was happening, and it happened so fast, that he didn't have a chance to say everything he wanted to. If he could only go back. Maybe he'd go back even further, when he and Sandy first dated, and he would have never broke up with her. But then Aaron wouldn't have been born, and Aaron was like a son to Simon. He couldn't live without that cute, little boy. It broke his heart to look at him now, though. Now he didn't have either of his biological parents. Martin had never really been around. For the first few months, he was. But then it got hard with school, and baseball, and he couldn't just learn to like Sandy. He'd constantly start fights with her. One day he got signed to a New York team, and he accepted. He up and left, never to be heard from again. With Sandy gone too, Simon was the only one he had, really. And being his step-father, it was sort of okay. _But would things ever really be okay? _Simon asked himself. As Simon pulled Sandy's pillow closer to him, he swore it smelled like her. _That perfume she wore. What was it called? Ahh, I'll have to look in her cabinet in the bathroom. Tomorrow._ He thought. The pillow also smelled like that soap she used. _Lavender._ He'd recognize it anywhere. He took in a big breath, smelling the lavender mixed with her perfume. It brought tears to his eyes. He put the pillow down, not wanting the scent to fade. He fell asleep thinking about Sandy, but started to have a dream about that horrible day… The day Sandy died. He woke up and made himself a cup of tea, to calm himself. He started beating himself up again about how he hadn't said what he wanted to.

_Flashback…_

Simon was laying in bed with Sandy. They had just put Aaron to bed. Sandy started to feel cold to the touch. She was so weak she could barely move. She began looking pale and her breathing started to slow. They had known for weeks that her time was going to be any day now. She could have stayed in the hospital, but she refused. They wouldn't be able to save her, and being in the hospital for her last days would just bring her down. She wanted to relax at home with her family when it happened. Sandy grabbed Simon's hand and held it tight. She knew exactly what was coming. He looked at her nervously and began to cry. She cried as well. She didn't want to leave Simon, or her son. She loved them too much. "Please don't cry." She requested. "You knew this as coming. Please don't cry." Sandy repeated. She had told him everything she wanted when then found out she only had a matter of days, maybe even weeks left. She had fought long enough. She was tired. She began to tremble. Simon held her in her arms tight. "I love you baby. I love you. Please don't go. Not yet. Please…Sandy. Please don't go." He said as she continued to shake. She lifted her hand and put it under his chin, moving it so he was looking her straight in the eyes, and Sandy replied "I have to. They're calling me. I know you love me. I love you too, Simon. I love you too." She cried and her eyes slowly rolled back until they closed. Her body became limp and her breathing finally stopped. Simon broke down, with her still in his arms. "Come back!" He screamed. "Come back!"

_End of flashback…_

If only he had said everything he meant to say… He knew how perceptive she was, so knew she probably already knew everything he would say, but it still would have made him feel better if he actually said them. He wished she'd left something behind, besides Aaron. I mean he loved Aaron so much, god knows it, but he wished they would have had kids of their own. The two of them. They almost did once. Sandy had gotten pregnant about a year after they were married. She was so happy. She walked in that day extra bubbly and happy, and nearly squealed as she told him. He remembered it so well.

_Flashback…_

Sandy walked in the house smiling big. "Simon!" She called out happily. "Yes, honey?" he said walking into the kitchen giving her a kiss as soon he saw her. She still had a huge smile plastered on her face. He nearly laughed at how big a smile she had on her face, and how happy she looked. "What's gotten into you?" he asked half laughing at how excited she looked. Her smile got even bigger as he asked, and she squealed "We're having a baby!" Simon jumped up unbelievingly, and put on a smile as big as hers. "Oh my God that's great!" He exclaimed as he picked her up and twirled her around. She giggled when he picked her up and after he twirled her, and he kissed her before putting her back down. He went and took Aaron out of his high chair and picked him up. "Did you hear that? You're gonna be a big brother!" Simon said and Aaron giggled. "Big." Was all Aaron said and Sandy and Simon laughed. They ate dinner as a family, Simon had made chicken and pasta, he remembered. That was Sandy's favorite thing he made. Then afterward, they put Aaron to bed and snuggled up on the couch and watched a movie. _The Breakfast Club,_ he remembered was the movie they watched. It was old, but one of her favorites. She had fallen asleep in the middle, so he kissed her head and picked her up to carry her to bed, and kissed her stomach. "Night, baby. I can't wait to meet you." He said to her stomach and she woke up smiling. "Aw." She said sleepily. "Sorry I woke you up, hun." Simon apologized. She just kissed him and sweetly replied "It's okay," and fell back in his arms, and wrapped her arms around his neck. He placed her in the bed and got in next to her, holding her close. She soon fell asleep. He couldn't believe he was going to be a daddy. Finally. He watched her sleep for hours. Breath in, breath out, smiling a little every so often. He loved to just watch her sleep. She looked so peaceful, like an angel. _His angel. _He had called her that a lot. Baby and Angel were his names for her.He held her tight, kissed her hair and moved a strand out of her face, then fell asleep.

_End of flashback…_

But they lost that baby. She miscarried about 4 – 4 ½ months into the pregnancy. She was crushed, as was he. She knew he wanted a big family, and Aaron wasn't biologically his, so felt so bad she wasn't going to give him the thing he wanted, a family. She wanted it too, but she had Aaron. He remembered the day he found out so well. Even better than the day he found out, because it scared him to death when Sandy left him a message at work crying, saying to hurry home, and something was wrong. He had never expected her to tell him they had lost their baby, though. He didn't know why, but that thought just never crossed his mind. He automatically assumed something had happened with Aaron, or Sandy. But never this…

_Flasback…_

He was having a normal day at work. A little after lunch time, he walked back into the office after going to the diner nearby for lunch. The woman working in the office walked into his office and told him his wife called and left a message in the office, and had said she had left a few on his phone. He thanked her and pressed the button on his phone, playing his messages, and pressed the 'Next' button until it finally came to her message. She was crying. "Simon…come home, now. It's an emergency…Please come home." She cried harder on the message before hanging up. He got so scared right there, almost tipping over. He grabbed his coat and ran out of the building, not stopping to talk to anyone. "Mr. Camden…Mr. Camden!" The secretary hollered, but he didn't turn back. He sped home as fast as he could and saw Sandy curled up on the floor outside Aaron's room against the wall. She was crying, looking helpless. He ran to her side, crouching next to her. "Sandy! Are you okay!" He yelled without meaning to, so worried. She didn't answer, just cried. "Sandy! Are you okay? Is Aaron okay?" She nodded and continued to cry, hard. Her whole body trembling from how hard she was crying, her face was red. He was put his arms around her trying to think of what could be wrong and she broke down in his arms, her arms wrapped around him. She leaned her head on his shoulder, crying. "Oh no." he said quietly, realizing what could be wrong. He leaned back a little, looking in her eyes. You couldn't see the happiness and sparkle in her eyes normally. You saw the sorrow and pain that wallowed within her. "The baby?" he asked. She nodded and pulled him closer, crying harder. Just a week before they had found out they were having a baby girl. As soon as she nodded his while world shattered, well, what was left of it. Seeing her like this killed him. "Our baby girl…" She cried. "I want her back…Simon I want my baby back." Sandy begged him, crying. He just held her close, right there on the floor, rocking her back and forth trying to calm her down. And she did. After she was calmer and seemingly a little less upset, he picked her up and carried her to bed, tucked her in, kissed her head and got in behind her and pulled her close and kissed the side of her face and ear. "I'm here, angel." He whispered in her ear when she started to cry again. She finally stopped and turned to face him. "I'm sorry." She apologized. He felt so bad she thought that this was her fault. "No, don't be. It happens. But we'll have one. I know it. So don't worry. As soon as you're ready we can start trying again, okay?" He asked, in the sweetest voice. She smiled "Thanks." "Don't mention it." He replied and kissed her. "I love you." She said, wrapping her arms around him. "Right back at ya." He joked, getting a smile out of her. "I love you too." He said. She smiled and cuddled up with him and they fell asleep.

_End of Flashback…_

But they never did have get baby. She died all too soon. They had tried for about a year and a half, but nothing happened so they stopped for a bit. Then she got sick. _My Angel. _He thought. She loved he had called her that. Now the nickname really fit, more than ever. Because he was positive that now she **was** an angel, watching over him and Aaron, just like she said she'd be. She was giving him strength to get through every day without her. Just like she did while she was here. The only reason he'd get up in the morning was her. But she had promised that even after she was gone, she'd be there. Watching him, guiding him, and making sure he didn't waste the rest of his life grieving her death. That eventually, he'd get over it. She knew he'd never forget her, but he'd have to get over her. After all, he was only 24 years old. He had nearly a whole life ahead of him. He remembered when she found out she wouldn't live through the cancer, she had given him a whole speech about that. _But she should too. _He thought. _She's supposed to have a whole life ahead of her, too. But she doesn't. She's gone. She only had one more year in her life then I did, so if I have a whole life ahead of me, why doesn't she? She's dead. But she shouldn't be. _He had the same arguments over and over in his mind. All because she wasn't there. If it wasn't for Aaron's being there, he might consider killing himself. But he wouldn't do that. He had a family, he had a job, and most of all, Sandy told him she wanted to see him trying to be happy, because if it was true that once you're gone, that you can see the ones you loved, she'd be looking over him 24/7, and seeing him sad would kill her. "But I'll already be dead." She joked, but he didn't laugh. She'd be gone, and that scared him. He just thought and thought until he bored himself and decided to go to bed.

A/N: Ahhh I had this idea for a while, and it stuck with me, so I decidedI had to write it out, just to see if it would end up good. PLEASE leave a review if you read it, good or bad. I might continue, but I guess it would be OKAY as a oneshot. Whatever, GIVE ME COMMENTS! Lol. What would you like to see? And ideas? Give me them in comments. Love you all! xoxo 7thheaven704. Hope you enjoyed!


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